Got the blues

I felt shitty Thursday and Friday with POTS symptoms, then Saturday I woke up with normal vital signs but feeling like arse. I felt like fire was running through my veins. Everything hurt except my hands and feet, which I could barely feel at all; also my vision had gone funny and my muscles were weak, kept dropping stuff. My PCP told me to go the ER, which I did, although I don’t know why because the same thing happened that always happens. I’m pretty sure if I went to an ER already dead, they would still say it was just psychological. As a bonus, this doctor was a sarcastic bitch.

I’ve been in bed pretty much all weekend feeling like I’ve got the flu but without the fever or cough. I don’t have any theories for why I hurt all over and feel so weak (I can feel my hands and feet again). I’m so gloomy. Is this my life now? Feeling terrible a lot of the time with no reason behind it? I’m glad that POTS explains a good portion of what ails me, at least.

This ER doctor pissed me off by asking (sarcastically of course) what my internet search told me I had. Easy for her to be glib, but it’s pretty apparent to me that unless I have a pretty good idea what’s wrong with me and what might help it, I might as well save my money. I told her I didn’t need the internet to be concerned about strange neurological signs, but otherwise I was too tired and swamp-brained to argue much about it.

My lab results were all normal except for LOW BUN and creatinine, which I’ve neither heard of nor seen before. Her explanation was it could be liver or pancreatic disease, but since I didn’t have any signs of those there was no need to worry. How would she know? I got out less than one sentence about why I was there, she took no history, never asked what meds I was on, anything. Earlier today I tried to figure out what low BUN and creatinine could indicate, but other than the possibilities she mentioned there isn’t much out there. It’s when they are high that obvious things are wrong. Logical processing makes me wonder if it’s from drinking too much water, but I lack the necessary medical degree to figure that out. My lytes were all dead normal.

I hope there isn’t anything much wrong with me. What I dread is the story I’ve heard over and over: “I kept telling doctors x and y, but they kept telling me I was just fine and should relax more, and here I am with this horrible illness that should have been caught earlier.” Happens ALL the time. I just feel like something ain’t right, like badly not right.

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